Tony Soprano said it best: “Remember When is the lowest form of conversation.”
Now as much as I agree with T, I still can’t help but reflect on my 45 years of life thus far…mainly because I am now focusing hardcore on an autobiographical graphic novel-type project I’ve been starting and stopping for years. I don’t have a title for it yet…but just know that I’m having a pretty good time putting it together as of this writing. It’s finally found it’s groove. It’s structure. It’s point. It’s purpose. Of course, knowing me, that all could flip over tomorrow and I’ll be cursing my lack of motivation and abilities again.
I dunno. Maybe it’s a “middle-age” thing, this looking back nonsense. I mean, my future certainly feels VERY uncertain. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it can be a little daunting. Unlike my wife and friends who basically have guaranteed work for the rest of their days…my employment can be a little…spotty? Spurt-y! Let’s say spurt-y. That’s more fun. And it would just be so rewarding to have a new Max Koch “product” out there. Something tangible you could hold in your hands to pair with your vino. Not since the Gramps: Beneath the Surface DVD have I had anything to offer on, say, Amazon. I’ve been told to start a line of t-shirts or greeting cards, but…that just doesn’t grab me like a book or video does.
Which is why it’s so important that I take FULL advantage of these down times as an opportunity to create. I also got hooked up with some seriously nifty software my friend Steve Epstein sent me called Handbrake, which essentially allows me to rip old footage I had earlier transferred to DVD from VHS into new video files I can edit into iMovie and post online.
So, for starters, I have been uploading clips to my main YouTube channel from a solo show I wrote and performed back in 2000 called The Uncompromising Pain Continues: A One-Man Agony-fest with Cartoons. The clips are accompanied by new introductions to the stuff I’ve recorded, explaining the context of it. My half-baked premise with these has been that I have an actual wine cellar, and behind one particular rack of bottles, I found a box containing a bunch of old tapes…footage I had long forgotten the existence of. Something like that. Look, it’s really just a goofy excuse to scatter some golden nuggets from my past out there. I hope you go and check them out!
You will definitely be hearing more from me on this blog as I’m spending more time than ever at my desk these days. I’m also re-doing my workspace (AGAIN) so I’ll like spending more time in here. Why, just this weekend, I unloaded an Ethan Allen hutch I’ve been keeping since I was born. It just wasn’t me anymore, man.
So there ya have it. For right now, once again, creating alone is my full-time job. Listen, it beats the crap out of drinking alone…sitting on the couch watching horror movies, feeling sorry for myself. I’m sorta sick of that pattern, I think. I’d rather earn that kind of reward.
It’s funny. My life has sort of ALWAYS been a one-man show. I just hope to keep my audience coming back for more. 🙂
WINE PAIRING: The filmmaker David Lynch once said, “Ideas are the best things going.” He also wrote a fantastic book called Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity, which I recently re-read in preparation for this graphic novel project of mine. So I think you should definitely reflect on YOUR life with a glass of 2013 Mystique/Big Fish Zinfandel from Rabbit Ridge Winery and Vineyards in Paso Robles. Who knows. YOU might even get inspired to create something…