I’ll be honest here: I don’t make many new friends these days. Sadly, I’ve become very distrusting of people who act like they wanna get close to me and that’s a bad thing. But my new friend Marica Thomas, who I took a hosting class with earlier this year, is one I don’t appear to distrust. Mainly because I now allow her to stick NEEDLES IN MY BODY.
Here’s a little video we made of Marica doing her thing. I’m not sure why YouTube videos get cut off when I post them here in the blog (do you see that or is it just me?), but I would click the link and watch it on YouTube itself. See, I plan to make many, many videos for this site and I want you to enjoy them as effortlessly as possible.
WINE PAIRING: Check out the Eye of the Needle winery website. I just did. Randomly! Columbia Valley!
So some how, some way, my wife managed to rope me AGAIN into attending a night of 80’s acts at the Greek Theatre. A lotta my friends crack my nuts because they think I don’t feel burdened at ALL to patronize these bands and that I love ALL 80’s music because, of course, I came of age in the 80’s. It’s. Not. True!
I mainly listened to The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Pink Floyd, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and the Violent Femmes in the 80’s. Primarily DARK shit. I was NOT a Howard Jones fan (although “What is Love” is okay), and now, thanks to my 80’s-obsessed wife, I have seen the damn dude perform live TWO years in a row now (at the 2013 Regeneration Tour, which was also held at the Greek). I mean, love him, mean it, I GET IT.
Well, this year, my wife couldn’t help herself. It appeared that Tom Bailey of the Thompson Twins (WITHOUT the blond chick and the black dude) had signed up for the 2014 Retro Futura tour. My wife was a MAJOR Thompson Twins fan and she’d never seen Tom or any of ’em live before.
God help me.
Look, how can I really complain? I mean, I love going to concerts and I live to people watch. Especially 45-year-old women who show up channeling their outer Go-Go. Plus I know what makes my wife happy and so I agreed to the evening. But I was excited about NONE of the acts…
I love my wife with all my entrails but she has to be two hours early at every event. Especially concerts. It doesn’t matter that we already have tickets with assigned seats. Two hours early.
So we get up to the Greek and upgrade our seats to aisle seats (thank cripes) and the next thing you know, we learn that the Greek’s credit card machines are ALL down. Now 90% of the reason I agreed to show up was because I like to sit with a giant beer in my lap and survey the crowd as they filter into the amphitheater. So if I don’t have enough cash to keep the night flowing (including frequent trips to the men’s room), I’m SUNK!
I tried not to panic. Nic had enough cash for supper so we decided to picnic prior to showtime. If worse came to worse, I could always hit the Greek’s ATM machine and get cash. See, THIS is why I worry I might have a slight touch of the alcoholism going on inside me. I mean, there I was, PLOTTING how I was going to be able to drink for the rest of the night!! SCHEMING, even!
Here’s my biggest problem with the Greek. The wine they serve at concessions is Woodbridge. Now I have nothing but respect for the Mondavis. Why. they’re the Trumps of California wine. But Woodbridge Chardonnay you may as well serve to your hefty Aunt Barb visiting in town from Harvey Pekar’s Cleveland. Like SHE’D know the difference. Plus I’m not a real fan of HEADACHES when I’m at a concert, even though I always make sure to wrap a few Advil in a sheet of Kleenex to keep in my pocket.
My wife, however, sucks it up and hits the Woodbridge every time. I pass no judgment upon her for that.
When I go to the Greek, however, it’s usually beer for me. And, sorry, fellas, this may come as a shock to you…but ol’ Max Koch is NOT a suds slurper! Hardly. I don’t mind the Tecate so much, I have to say. But usually I start out with a Heineken. They serve Pabst there, too, but I’m just not that brave.
Dinner was fine. But we were constantly being attacked by wasps which made my wife rise up and flail her arms like crazy and scream a lot.
They set up a band outside the venue proper to warm up the crowd. Never seen that before.
Now I have to tell you about something MAJOR that happened before the show. At the Regeneration show last year, there was a dude who stood in front of us and danced the ENTIRE time. Now normally that would be really, really annoying. But this wasn’t just any dancer. This was, I have since come to consider…my All-Time FAVORITE dancer!!
So here’s where it gets NUTS. My wife wouldn’t recognize Tom Cruise in public if he was standing straight under her nose. But she TOTALLY called out dancer dude from last year when we were upgrading our tickets! He had RETURNED to grace us all with his stunning moves once again! So I KNEW I not only had to totally stalk him… but also get my picture taken with him! And I did!
This was my approach once I spotted him inside the amphitheater-proper. Standing in the aisle of the EXACT same row he got down in last time…
ME: Excuse me, sir?
MAN: Yes?
ME: I just want you to know that I am a MASSIVE fan of yours. I saw the show last year and sat behind you and watched YOU the entire night. Not the bands. YOU.
MAN: Oh…
ME: Do you mind if we take a photo together?
MAN: Sure.
I hand my camera to some random lady.
ME: What the hell is your NAME??
MAN: (softly… after a pregnant pause) Howard.
ME: Howard!!
My night was made. I was quite sincerely STAR-STRUCK.
Another beer later and the next thing I know, Katrina was on stage thanking the Bangles for something. She actually seemed pretty cool and invited the audience to come shake her hand near the merch afterward. I hope she brought plenty of hand sanitizer because this was a relatively unique crowd. Including Frick and Frack here who plopped down right in front of me and nearly blocked my ENTIRE view of the stage:
It was like sitting behind a gigantic BLUE screen. I mean, you coulda shot 30 “Star Wars” movies on these dudes’ backs.
Odder still was the flying-solo fellow sitting DIRECTLY to the right of my wife. He introduced himself and proceeded to launch into his claim to fame:
He meant it, too! I kept trying to stump him on bands he hadn’t seen and couldn’t. He’d seen EVERYONE!!!
Oh, wait. Except Van Halen. Robert had no qualms admitting he HATES Van Halen.
Soon China Crisis hit the stage (never heard of ’em), followed by Midge Ure of Ultravox (my favorite performer of the night, I guess), Howard Jones (who, I’ll admit, I liked better this time… he had dancing mummies…), and, finally, Nic’s new crush, lone Thompson Twin, Tom Bailey. Oh, my wife fully copped to finding him engaging and sexy! With his grey hair, his artsy-fartsy hand gestures, his dark sunglasses, and Veteran New Waver weave.
(Ssshhhh… we won’t tell her he wasn’t that interesting…)
No doubt, I’ll be dragged to the Greek for more 80’s flashbacks next year. Only this time, I’m packing my own vino!
Now, listen, I have no idea why I’m so excited to tell you all this. I’m not even going this year. Oh, no, no, a county fair is WAY too much work. And I’ve been to one in TEXAS! No, I might hit a county fair every other year or so but that’s enough for me. That said, I do have a very sincere love and nostalgic feelings for county fairs. Here’s a coupla YouTube videos I made in the past to drive that point home.
Have a luxurious Labor Day Weekend, all! Eat, drink, and be merry…
I kinda love this whole “Throwback Thursday” / “Flashback Friday” thing that’s going on out there. I was always the guy who didn’t mind when you sat me down to show me your old photo albums or screen me your home movies.
Here’s one I drew back in ’05. I believe this was at Bonny Doon Vineyard. I remember this dude being EXTREMELY informative about the wines. I also remember buying a poster from there illustrated by one of my favorite artists, Ralph Steadman, who designed a few of their labels. What I DON’T remember is having bleached blond hair!
One thing I should make clear: I am NOT a wine expert. Since falling in love with wine back in 1996, I have been figuring this shit out as I GO.
Case in point, last evening’s tasting of the The Dreaming Tree 2011 “Crush”, which is bottled in Geyserville, California. Now, I’ve never heard of this wine before. I don’t know anything ABOUT this wine. All I know is that it was on sale at the Vons in Burbank for what I thought was a reasonable price. And that I liked the look of the label. And the fact that the word “Crush” on the label looked like it was scrawled in crimson blood with a quill.
The words “Red Wine” were enough for me. That told me it was a blend of red varietals. Whatever they gotta get rid of up there at the Dreaming Tree works for me. Throw it all in one bottle, I’m not asking any questions. I just know I needed a red for the evening because my friend, Adam (aka The Counselor), was coming over and I know he’s a red man. Okay, he’s primarily a Tempranillo man, but much to my annoyance, the Vons chick in the wine aisle told me they don’t carry any Tempranillos, which is just stupid. But whatever.
Then this went down…
THE COUNSELOR: So what’s the blend?
ME: (trying to read the label as I fumble with my readers) It doesn’t say.
TC: It doesn’t say?
ME: No, it just says… Red Wine.
TC: Really. Not 20% Zinfandel… 10% Merlot… et cetera?
ME: No, just (reading aloud) “CRUSH (RED WINE) NORTH COAST 2011”.
TC: North Coast?
ME: I don’t know! Somewhere in the higher-up part of California.
TC: The “higher-up part”? Huh. But we still don’t know what blend the wine is?
ME: No. Why? Does that matter to you?? Why does it matter?
TC: Dude, I’m merely a man asking a question. I didn’t say it mattered. I was simply curious.
ME: It’s a RED wine!
TC: So I’ve gathered.
ME: Well, what, are you saying you’re not interested in trying it now?
TC: Oh, I’m VERY interested in trying it now…
Oh!
Oh. So, yeah, for a few minutes there, I wasn’t sure if the Counselor was in sync with me on trying this wine. Well, come on! Whaddo I know? People can be so fussy about what they like and don’t, I get insecure! Even around my friend who I’ve known for well over two decades!
But we tried it. And we liked it.
Yeah, I try EVERYTHING. I don’t discriminate. Price. Label. Vineyard. Varietal. Bring it. Wine is an adventure, man!
Currently streaming on Netflix, “Last Days Here” tracks the sorry saga of heavy metal has-been Bobby Liebling’s near-triumphant return to the stage. I don’t know about you, but I always feel just a little bit better about myself when I see creative-type guys like Bobby rise and fall and sorta half-ass rise again. If gives me hope that not ALL is lost. It also helps that I’m not an aging, bug-eyed, rotting-skinned crack fiend occupying my parents’ “sub basement” in my middle age as depicted in “Last Days Here”.
As the lead singer of some 70’s metal group named Pentagram (never heard of them), Bobby destroyed his rock god dreams (and the those of his band mates) by selfishly sabotaging a potential future with Columbia Records during a very unfortunate recording session. They coulda had it all, Pentagram. Instead, they had Bobby. And so the dream died. And everything faded to black.
If you’re like me, you like to lift up the proverbial rock to see what crawls out from under it. I highly recommend this doc because not only are Bobby and his put-upon parents unbelievably odd and hilarious characters, but the film manages to woo you into rooting for Bobby to get clean (with the help of his loyal sidekick, Pellet) and for Pentagram to rise again. I won’t give away the end…but it’s quite unexpected.
WINE PAIRING: My wife is still away at an HR conference so I had my Cousin Lorenzo over and we totally locked into this film with a robust 2011 St. Francis “Old Vines” Zinfandel from Sonoma County. It was kind of perfect, too, because Bobby Liebling uncannily resembles a twisty, withered-up old vine.
Every time there’s a new moon, my wife makes me write out my “New Moon Manifestations”. Well, here we are, August 25th, and guess what: there’s a new moon! Using the moon to manifest what I want out of life is hokey and, dare I say, a little hogwash-y. But I do it each and every new moon, and why? Because my wife TELLS me to do it. See, I chose to share my life with a strong-willed woman who believes that writing out what you want from the universe in a simple list form (often using the words “I am”) is a helpful and heartfelt tool to success. The funny thing is, SHE’S the one who always seems to enjoy greater success in life than I, no matter HOW many moons come and go. Where’s MY new moon?? Oh, wait, it just left. It was a Leo moon cuz I’m a LEO, see. Pretty lame moon, ask me. I didn’t get much out of it at ALL. Stupid moon! (Wait, maybe THIS is why my wife whoops my ass, success-wise. It’s all in the attitude…)
Listen, my wife has come so far in her ascension as a woman of business, it’s mind-blowing. And I’m here to support her, decant the wine, do as she asks, make her laugh, rub her neck when it smarts, make sure all the Doomsday preps are up-to-date, be her travel buddy in life, perform my duties as head of security in our house and on the road…and give her multiple orgasms as best as I humanly can. It’s a LOT of work, but I–
Wait. What was I talking about? Oh, right! The new moon.
The moon enters Virgo today and by the looks of it, this bitch means business. Sure, she represents virginity, this Virgo, but she also belongs to HERSELF. Not to no load of a man. She’s also a HUGE payer of attention to detail and doesn’t appear to tolerate a whole lotta shenanigans. Also, what I like about this new Virgo moon is that it tells us there are only THREE WEEKS LEFT of summer. Play time’s over and it’s time to snap out of our comas and get the heck back to WORK. That’s always a big deal for me, putting summer behind, because not only can I not stand summer, I ALWAYS feel at my most powerful in the autumn months. Not to mention, we’re getting closer to Halloween, my all-time fave holiday. It’s on that day, Oct. 31st, that the wife and I hit the road and head up to quake-ravaged Napa Valley.
So, wait, did I just blog about astrology? Or being totally pussy whipped…? No matter. Light a candle, put some new age-y type music on, and write yourself 10 things you want to happen under this new moon. You never know! I sure as shit don’t.
WINE PAIRING: Speaking of Leo, my wife is away at an HR conference right now and my friend Kari brought over a very relaxing Lion’s Peak 2008 Cabernet Franc last night. It didn’t even take that long to open up. So have a glass of THAT while you write out your wants from the cosmos. After a few pours, you won’t be thinking ANY of this is ludicrous, I assure…
Arose to the unsettling news that a 6.0 magnitude earthquake shook the shit out of the Napa Valley wine region this morning. While I was very sorry to hear there were a few injuries and some old buildings took a hit, I was FAR more concerned about the amount of wine that got wasted.
For example, my friend Kari introduced me to Silver Oak and THIS (to me) is one sad sight…
If you’ve spent any time in California wine country, you have surely come across a wine dog. They are usually very lazy and unmotivated and lying in a patch of shade somewhere on the property. If you’re lucky, they will come and greet you as you roll up to the tasting room but then they usually disappear.
My pug Malcolm is not one of these dogs. In fact, he’s something of an anomaly. Pugs, of course, are not generally known for their athletic prowess. But almost every Saturday, my wife takes Malcolm to an actual doggie gym in Sherman Oaks called Zoom Room so he can let off a little steam. He also performs tricks and stunts on the obstacle course they set up for him and gets to eat a LOT of treats. NOW I’m beginning to understand why he likes it so much.
Anyway, today Daddy paid a visit to see how far Malcolm has come in his training…
