Max Koch Uncorked

Wine-soaked adventures through a twisted life…

“The Ten ComMAXments”

My friend Doug Paul owns and operates Three Sisters Vineyards & Winery in Dahlonega, Georgia. You would not believe the splendor of Georgia wine country, in case you had no idea it existed. I was blown away when I went out there a few years ago. It’s SO special. Nic had a conference to attend in Atlanta so we decided to make a big ol’ giant Georgia-y, Athens-esque, soul-food-and-wine-country trip out of it. One of the best excursions of my life, actually. And meeting Doug was a huge highlight. He’s hilarious and sweet as hell and also a voice-over actor to boot.

Anyway, Doug is just about to ship out some of his new titles for us to sample (including a sparkling!). So as soon as they arrive, I will make a video about ’em and post it here. But in the meantime, another one of Doug’s many talents is Photoshopping. We’re friends on Facebook and he’s always making these crazy images utilizing my insipid mug and posting them on my wall or whatever. He’s too much, that Doug Paul. His latest one here inspired me to write “The Ten ComMAXments”. Hey, if L. Ron Hubbard can tell people what to do, so can I.

10 Commaxments

10.) Thou Shalt mourn relatively obscure, yet utterly awesome character actors when they croak.

9.) Thou Shalt not ignore a discarded pair of dirty panties on the streets. Thou Shalt fumble for thy phone and IMMEDIATELY take a snapshot of them to post on social media (I do this all the time).

8.) Thou Shalt not play sports, watch sports, or talk about sports.

7.) Thou Shalt not be political, watch politics, or talk about politics.

6.) Thou Shalt bathe thine genitalia with a variety of finely-scented soaps and body washes.

5.) Thou Shalt have little faith in humanity, unless the human’s name is Johnny Knoxville.

4.) Thou Shalt spend most of their lives worshipping and admiring women in sexual and non-sexual manners (even women must do this).

3.) Thou Shalt consider “The Sopranos” and “Sons of Anarchy” the greatest TV shows in the history of Earth.

2.) Thou Shalt drink a LOT of good wine…

1.) Thou Shalt understand that meaning of life is to try and have FUN at all costs. To love and honor and cherish those most loyal to you.

WINE PAIRING: Wahoo! I say Doug Paul’s Georgia Jug. A joyous 3L red and white blend. Fine-ass Table Wine!

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