Max Koch Uncorked

Wine-soaked adventures through a twisted life…

New Moon Manifestations

Every time there’s a new moon, my wife makes me write out my “New Moon Manifestations”. Well, here we are, August 25th, and guess what:  there’s a new moon!  Using the moon to manifest what I want out of life is hokey and, dare I say, a little hogwash-y.  But I do it each and every new moon, and why? Because my wife TELLS me to do it.  See, I chose to share my life with a strong-willed woman who believes that writing out what you want from the universe in a simple list form (often using the words “I am”) is a helpful and heartfelt tool to success. The funny thing is, SHE’S the one who always seems to enjoy greater success in life than I, no matter HOW many moons come and go. Where’s MY new moon??  Oh, wait, it just left.  It was a Leo moon cuz I’m a LEO, see. Pretty lame moon, ask me.  I didn’t get much out of it at ALL.  Stupid moon!  (Wait, maybe THIS is why my wife whoops my ass, success-wise.  It’s all in the attitude…)

Listen, my wife has come so far in her ascension as a woman of business, it’s mind-blowing.  And I’m here to support her, decant the wine, do as she asks, make her laugh, rub her neck when it smarts, make sure all the Doomsday preps are up-to-date, be her travel buddy in life, perform my duties as head of security in our house and on the road…and give her multiple orgasms as best as I humanly can.  It’s a LOT of work, but I–

Wait.  What was I talking about?  Oh, right!  The new moon.


The moon enters Virgo today and by the looks of it, this bitch means business.  Sure, she represents virginity, this Virgo, but she also belongs to HERSELF.  Not to no load of a man.  She’s also a HUGE payer of attention to detail and doesn’t appear to tolerate a whole lotta shenanigans.  Also, what I like about this new Virgo moon is that it tells us there are only THREE WEEKS LEFT of summer. Play time’s over and it’s time to snap out of our comas and get the heck back to WORK. That’s always a big deal for me, putting summer behind, because not only can I not stand summer, I ALWAYS feel at my most powerful in the autumn months. Not to mention, we’re getting closer to Halloween, my all-time fave holiday. It’s on that day, Oct. 31st, that the wife and I hit the road and head up to quake-ravaged Napa Valley.

So, wait, did I just blog about astrology?  Or being totally pussy whipped…?  No matter.  Light a candle, put some new age-y type music on, and write yourself 10 things you want to happen under this new moon.  You never know!  I sure as shit don’t.

WINE PAIRING:  Speaking of Leo, my wife is away at an HR conference right now and my friend Kari brought over a very relaxing Lion’s Peak 2008 Cabernet Franc last night.  It didn’t even take that long to open up.  So have a glass of THAT while you write out your wants from the cosmos.  After a few pours, you won’t be thinking ANY of this is ludicrous, I assure…